How many of us honor what we or our doctors call "symptoms" as a message coming to us from our soul?
If I expressed myself in a way which upset them which is easy helped to do and pretty much everything can upset them, trigger them and get you shot because of itthen there was censorship hell to pay for it. They need control more than they need air, food, or other vital things for basic survival.
I learned to shut up and listen with more than just the ears.
But that too could be perceived as a threat by them. It can all get very tangled inside my head when this is going on. It was a number of years ago I became more conscious of this hyper-vigilance I experienced and then I met a narcissist and outbursts and emotional cut offs could be the consequence of expressing myself in a way that challenged him.
Today I see the parallels with early relationships. A while back after my eldest sister died I came across some letters she had saved that my mother wrote when I was a young child. I know this in many ways was a result of her own lonely childhood, a childhood in which she had to learn to be quiet, hide her fear and loneliness and had next to no validation.
My elder sister who was kind left home after marrying and moving overseas when I was three. Somewhere along the way growing up I came to believe I was not good enough, that things were my fault which actually were the result of a faulty upbringing and stressful and traumatic incidents occuring at key developmental transitions.
I cannot note down here all the significant failures that have mirrored these earliest ones, which set up a blue print for my life and relationships and for shame. Having affirmation from certain people both online and in my life over the past two years has helped me to recognise the earlier empathetic failures for what they were, outside of my power to control and not caused by me.
I must say that sadly as part of my own difficulties when I was struggling during my late 20s and early 30s I got caught up in the New Age movement for a long time. I actually now recognise that at that time I was working for a narcissistic boss within the New Age industry.
It was around the time I went through the Saturn return and was gettting into more and more problems with alcohol. But some of the answers of that movement were that I had chosen abuse for myself. I no longer believe this to be true.
I now see it as an outgrowth of multi-generational woundings and legacy. I now know that victims do exist and we can and are victimised by forces beyond our control playing out both personally and collectively. Sadly many abusers have an investment in us remaining victims and in blaming us for things that are outside of our control, we even do it to ourselves as a result of being victimised.
It is part of the way abusers operate and this idea stops the victim from knowing they were a victim and getting angry enough to moblise the energy to bust out of the pattern and reclaim our own power.
Quite a few years back following the end of my marriage and an accident in which I had suffered a head injury while boarding with a family who were emotionally abusive I went for an astrology reading with Melanie Reinhardt.
The book is called Waking the Tiger and in it he calls attention to the need of the traumatised animal to mobilise aggression in the face of threat in order shake off entrapment.
I have always been drawn to the understandings of such therapists as James Hillman and Thomas Moore who see in the symptom not evidence of malaise but signs of the soul telling us about the nature of the wound and need for healing. In it there are some very interesting stories of animals taken from the wild who then rebelled against the abuse of their captors, in some case taking lives or causing permanent wounds.
One of the saddest stories is of Tip, the Asian elephant donated to the city of New York by a circus owner, Adam Forepaugh. Five years into his incaceration within the Central Park elephant house, Tip began to display violent behavior directed towards abusive trainers and captors.
In the end Tip was executed. His badness caused his madness, his madness cemented his badness. Tip was a victim of the human tendency to punish what we misunderstand or fear.In the process, they discovered that a high proportion of stars suffer from traits associated with clinical narcissism—including vanity, exhibitionism, entitlement, exploitativeness, self-sufficiency, authority, and .
Thomas Moore & Kathryn Madden at The Garrison Institute, Garrison, NY March 11 It doesn’t mean self. It means soul. So the subject of psychology ought to be soul. And psychotherapy should be a practice with soul, of the soul.
ˇerapy, therapea in Greek, does not mean. The Psychotherapy and Spirituality Summit Package. This presentation will examine how mindfulness can be harnessed in psychotherapy to reexamine our sense of self, leading toward greater wisdom and compassion for all involved.
Ron will cover: Thomas Moore AUTHOR OF CARE OF THE SOUL. Soul Care helps you live from a healthy soul and wisely lead others towards authentic transformation. In , Mindy Caliguire launched Soul Care to be a publishing and ministry vision dedicated to helping people restore health to their souls.
Apr 13, · You care about the consequences of your decisions which will ripple onto your family, specifically your sons. They obviously are mature enough to see the situation - that you're essentially your husbands mother.
The effects of gaslighting are so insidious, that they can lead to the victim losing all trust in their own judgment and reality. The victim’s initial reaction to the gaslighting behaviour is one of utter disbelief; they cannot believe the sudden change towards them, or indeed the fact that they are being gaslighted in .